I dont care

 I try to act like I don't care about anything to suppress my own feelings but in actuality It hinders my growth process into becoming a woman who is strong and can accept her own feelings. I need to get to that point where it is okay to accept the fact that I'm mad or I feel embarrassed about something. The more I push my feelings deeper into my subconscious the more I hurt myself and have dreams about how my life would be if I just accepted how I felt and stopped pretending that I'm not capable of having those feelings.

When I show people who I am I get incredibly insecure because they have the potential not to accept me as me and erase me completely from their life. I know that I shouldn't care too much about if someone can't accept me but sometimes it will hurt my feelings for the simple fact that I fear that they will use my flaws against me in the future. I'm constantly wanting to give all of me without making sure these humans can respect and accept all of me. I think my problem is that I want people to really see me and what I'm capable of. I know deep down that not everyone will accept me, not everyone will understand me or even WANT to understand me 

Here is the truth, The truth is I care too much, I always fall in love too fast, I'm shy, I have insecurities and I'm scared that someone will see that I really do care…

Today's post is something different, I'm sharing one of my many writings. Most of my writings entail my current thoughts at the time which showcases my real self. Many of my writings will seem contradicting, but it's only because I feel many emotions at the same time.  I don't sugarcoat anything because I feel like I don't need to do that when I'm writing for a release of these raw emotions. I am starting to learn more about myself and grow into the person I want to be. This is about me becoming aware of myself.

Thanks for reading 
Stay tuned for more!